


Cats with tasers

by Servena



Category: Leverage
Genre: Bickering, Con Artists, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, Team Dynamics, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-29 01:09:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8469934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Servena/pseuds/Servena
Summary: “DAMMIT. HARDISON.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Sommerchallenge 2016.

“DAMMIT. HARDISON.”

“It’s cool, man, it’s cool. I’ve got this. Just give me a minute.”

“It’s not ‘cool’. You should have ‘got this’ ten minutes ago!”

“Okay, hey, listen, I’ve got a lot on my plate here. Spoofing security cameras, disabling alarm systems, hacking a computer system with a firewall the size of the great wall of china - Can you do this? Can you? I don’t think so. So just let me work here, man.”

“One minute.”

“Hey, nothing’s happened, okay? I just forgot. Nobody’s shot, decapitated, or on fire. So just –“

“If you say ‘chill’, I will pull your brain through this ear bud.”

“Okay, keep it together, guys! We’re almost done here.”

“I’m gonna kill this guy!”

“No killing until the con is done.”

“Hey, guys? There’s security on the way.”

“GREAT.”

“Come on, this is what you do, isn’t it?”

“Keep working.”

“Bust some heads. Let out some of the stress.”

“HARDISON.”

“It’s okay, I’ll take them. I wanna try out my new taser!”

“Hey, uhm, Parker? Parker?”

“She’s gone.”

“Great. Great. Plan Q then.”

“Is that like Plan M? Do I die in Plan Q? Just – just asking.”

“Oh, you definitely die in Plan Q if you don’t get this door open.”

“I wasn’t asking you - Nate? Nate!”

“…”

“Security’s down. This was fun.”

“Damn, girl. You’re kinda scary.”

“At least someone knows what they’re doing!”

“It’s all those moves you’re teaching her. I’m just saying! And I’ve got to say, they really hurt sometimes.”

“Good.”

“Now that’s just cruel.”

“KEEP. WORKING!”

“I could not possibly stall this man any further. What are you doing, Nate?”

“I’ve, eh, got the situation under control.”

“To tell you the truth, it doesn’t sound like it.”

“Just, eh, work him a bit longer, Sophie, you’re the best grifter in the world, you can do this, I have faith in you.”

“Fine. But I know what you’re trying to do.”

“That’s one of us.”

“Okay, Eliot, the light on the door should change to green - now.”

“Nate, I’m moving.”

“It’s green, isn’t it? Is it? Yeah, you’re welcome.”

“Just wait until we get home.”

“Yeah, I’ll be waiting. Will I get a gift basket? I like these little chocolate balls with milk cream, just so you know. But not the ones with egg liqueur. Just milk cream.”

“If he gets chocolate, can I have fortune cookies?”

“He’s not getting chocolate!”

“Guys, concentrate! Parker, get moving, there’s stuff to steal.”

“Can I taser someone?”

“No.”

“But –“

“Parker! Stealing, now.”

“Ugh, fine.”

”It’s a bit like herding cats, isn’t it?”

“Worse. At least the cats don’t have tasers.”


End file.
